life in the real world

"there is no good or evil, there is only power"

the voice of Lord Voldemort keeps hissing in my head through my confusion. i'm now in a state of an unstable crisis, when again my self doubts are rising my tension. all this time i thought being in good path was enough to fullfill my life, a thing that seems so simple i always question why everybody else were distracted. but now the trust i had for other people including my parents slowly fuse towards this complications that even i cant describe in words.

surely you would think that i'm immature, yes i am that naive because i was and still am ghoulishly unaware of my surroundings. I was that people who isolated themselves in this little comfort space and developing ideals, too much of thought provoking principles and hoping someday i could bring that forward and wowed everybody in the world. the target to be a game changer, to make a difference in the world seems so cliche yet everybody have the same dreams and goals. Those philosophy bullshit about changing ourselves as an individual first keeps nagging and nagging, because people the world doesnt work that way

many people are entitled to change history and has been a part of it, if we search back through our books they are bogus. we were jolted by their names and their notorious exciting stories that sometimes the truth got out of hand. even our holly books seems manipulative and unpromising enough to be our guide for our greater good. those people who are great now in the present went through many ways to reach the "top" and i can guarantee you that none of them pick sides because all they need is an upgrade of power.

Though i belief so much in karma and it will tail me around like smokes in flames, the worst part of life that human doesnt really consider it. we remember good when we're miserable and we forget them the instant we are trying or so close to that top that we sort on priorities ONLY to ours. In my opinion it's not a sin to focus of a personal importance, heck it's our life, but when our actions friction with another we dont know what to expect.

to be continued