HEAVEN IS NEAR US (NO THIS IS NOT ABOUT A RELIGION SHIT OR A SELF HELP METHOD TO FAKE MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER...THIS IS AN EXPERINCE)

How many of you have fantasize about being in a world like heaven like pandora in avatar or a lost land like those middle ages adventure books? Wishing you can escape from your regular hell zombie capitalist-communistic life. Let me tell you a secret, i do to

I’m not going to make this heavy, but i cant help myself being to overly informative...so let me tell you that when i was a kid i spent almost all my time reading books and watching movies filled with beautiful sightings and wonderful ideas, i can never imagine why human could be this way in reality. I dont know how people could be so difficult to tell the truth or not do bad things until i experience it myself. Those authors are secretly telling their secret desire that they want their world like that. It is their cry for help.

Do you think twilight would be that sensational if it wasnt that thought provoking to women. Men may think that women are bitches, only know how to spend money and be clingy or overly sensitive but they still treat us like crap. If not we wouldnt be fantasizing about a creature that have silly fangs because people who are good looking and muscels are a lot out there (too bad some may stereotype as gay). But still the statistic has shows that women still being treated as the lower sex and almost everyone agrees.

So back to pandora planet. Its all basically earth. Google raja ampat if you dont belief, check out the “paradise” in my country indonesia. I’ve got a beautiful paddy field in front of my house, a clear stream and  the beach is a 10 minutes walk. I’m not rich neither do my neighbors around me but people dont realize what kind of beauty around them. Instead the goal of most people now is just money. All want a piece of the “american dream” living in a suburban house which has not change in the past few centuries. How are we different from bees or bugs in colonies, they have advance community systems just like ours architectures and even specific interiors for their homes but they slowly develop and changes their forms, the bees nests still similar, yet our houses is still boxes. Ironic isnt it?

They said that leadership systems are now very mutual and beneficial for both sides, democracy replacing monarchy yet still people on top are corrupt until now. What a usless life to live. We are occupied by other people priorities (no matter how much i said that, i never get tired)that we never realize the pandora around us.

UNFINISH

life in the real world

"there is no good or evil, there is only power"

the voice of Lord Voldemort keeps hissing in my head through my confusion. i'm now in a state of an unstable crisis, when again my self doubts are rising my tension. all this time i thought being in good path was enough to fullfill my life, a thing that seems so simple i always question why everybody else were distracted. but now the trust i had for other people including my parents slowly fuse towards this complications that even i cant describe in words.

surely you would think that i'm immature, yes i am that naive because i was and still am ghoulishly unaware of my surroundings. I was that people who isolated themselves in this little comfort space and developing ideals, too much of thought provoking principles and hoping someday i could bring that forward and wowed everybody in the world. the target to be a game changer, to make a difference in the world seems so cliche yet everybody have the same dreams and goals. Those philosophy bullshit about changing ourselves as an individual first keeps nagging and nagging, because people the world doesnt work that way

many people are entitled to change history and has been a part of it, if we search back through our books they are bogus. we were jolted by their names and their notorious exciting stories that sometimes the truth got out of hand. even our holly books seems manipulative and unpromising enough to be our guide for our greater good. those people who are great now in the present went through many ways to reach the "top" and i can guarantee you that none of them pick sides because all they need is an upgrade of power.

Though i belief so much in karma and it will tail me around like smokes in flames, the worst part of life that human doesnt really consider it. we remember good when we're miserable and we forget them the instant we are trying or so close to that top that we sort on priorities ONLY to ours. In my opinion it's not a sin to focus of a personal importance, heck it's our life, but when our actions friction with another we dont know what to expect.

to be continued   

Bayangkan ini :

Diberapa legenda dan sejarah india, orang jaman dulu bisa terbang dan menguasai elemen elemen selayaknya kartun avatar the legend of aang. Ini merupakan teori yang cukup mungkin karena kekuatan manusia yang terkuat adalah pikiran kita. Dan manusia telah umum dikenal hanya menggunakan sebagian kecil dari kemampuan otaknya, dan mungkin selebihnya kita tidak tahu bagaimana kemampuan manusia yang sebenarnya. Hanya berberapa orang saja yang memiliki kelebihan mental dan itupun sulit dijangkau oleh hard science namun kita sudah berusaha untuk mencapai kesana.

Seiring dengan perkembangan jaman, manusia semakin terhanyut oleh manusia lain, membiarkan dirinya dibatasi oleh orang-orang tertentu dan mengikuti paham-pahamnya. Saya tidak berusaha mengecilkan agama, namun jelas peran sosialnya cukup mengorganisir manusia menjadi homogen dan terkadang tidak memiliki pendirian. Industrialisme membuat manusia semakin parah menjadi budak yang memang sudah sejadi-jadinya smenjak adanya pemimpin-pemimpin dari kuasa tuhan dst. Manusia menjadi terobsesi pada hal-hal tertentu terutama uang yang hanya merupakan alat penukaran dan disanalah prioritas dan pemikiran manusia semakin sempit dan semakin sulit untuk menerima segala kemungkinan, dan mengulangi sains yang jelas-jelas sudah ada sebelumnya  namun karena agama dan komunitas-komunitas tertentu terlalu mengatur pemahaman kita tentang hidup.

Saya percaya dengan realita kita untuk mengatur hidup sejajar dengan idealisme kita, anything is possible. Namun kita terlalu takut untuk bermimpi sehingga seperti ada batas antara pikiran kita dengan apa yang didepan kita. Lucunya sekarang, orang-orang mulai menggali lagi cara untuk menggapai idealisme tersebut kedalam suatu realita dengan membuat suatu dimensinya tersendiri dengan menggunakan teknologi. Ya jelas internet. Disana orang mampu menjadi siapapun dan apapun. Jika sesuai dengan peninjauan steve jobs atau orang-orang bervisis lainnya kemungkinan dunia media akan mampu menguasai realita kita yang sudah ada dan dunia internetlah yang menjadi realita kita. Sekarang tidak ada batas lagi antara yang mana yang nyata atau salah. Ini sungguh mengingatkan saya dengan satu episode twilight zone “dreams for sale” dimana mengambil tempat dimasa depan, ketika manusia semua zombie pekerja (lebih parah dengan sekarang) dan hiburan mereka atau jeda mereka adalah masuk ke dunia mimpi yang di bisniskan. Disana mimpi mereka merupakan hal-hal yang sederhana seperti sekarang, keluarga kecil yang bahagia, mungkin keluar dari keadaan mereka yang sebenarnya, namun mereka lama-lama terhanyut kedalam mimpi itu dan pikirannya menjadi berantakan. Ada satu wanita yang memilih kedunia itu dan akhirnya meninggal dunia.

Di saat sekarang sudah banyak terbukti remaja-remaja meninggal dunia karena terlalu banyak bermain game dan juga yang bunuh diri karena tak tahan dengan realita yang ada. Mereka lebih memilih masuk kedalam media dan mencari kebahagiaan yang animatif ataupun artificial buatan), lama kelamaan kita merasakan bahwa batas realita dan dunia artificial (internet atau media lain) begitu vague (tidak jelas) karena mereka terus memprovokasi kita, merayu-rayu kita. Atau apakah memang orang orang sekarang yang berada dalam realita kita begitu kejam, memperbudak kita dengan norma-normanya yang tidak masuk akal, kapitalis yang ujung-ujungnya sosialis, berusaha mewadahkan kita kedalam kotak-kotak dan segalanya instan tapi hambar. Sehingga kita semua larut kedalam pilihan yang begitu berantakan, mungkin jika kita tidak berada ditengah-tengah adu domba kepentingan antar kuasa (baik negara, politik agama dalam masyarakat) kita mampu mencari kebahagiaan yang nyata dan juga menjadi tuhan atas diri dan hidup kita.

the devil is within me

the devil is inside me
it's been reaping to my body
whispers soft words of illusion
wanting me to let go

pondering around through my room, my space
as smoke follows fire with no escape

the devil is with in me
infecting my soul with it's promise and wishes
the dream it created, oh how beautiful, my desire
i am hypnotize through it's trance
repeating and repeating being a slave for it's promise

sudden pleasure strike and is hard to let go
the love it's given is unbereable

the devil sorrounding me
telling me to let go of this body
let go of this life, it said
let go of all you have
this time should be about you

no one in this world can fullfill your fairness
they are all swept with greed and THEIR priorities
they want you to be miserable, they are grey patch
hypocrite to their senses,
clueless if they even work for for god

at least when you're with me you chose your sides
and even closer to god

then the devil took my soul

song for losers

i have a track record in always being a loser, in a prospect of failing and always having the worst luck ever. fuck when i wrote this is because i was this close in being the candidate of the world school debate championship, and i lost because of political reasons. i always land up to a major critical spot where being an underdog is my my everyday life. so this song is for you who feel like a loser and need to express themselves in a better way

this song is special because it has 7 syllables in every line and it always makes me feel better when i'm down. please skip the intro if you must...i know i look really ugly

here are the lyrics

reff

If you ralize your mistake

and your victory just fake

then you might hold on your sake

coz i'll destroy you i'll brake

If you look up in the air

then you might see me up there

where i'm the star i'm so fair

(i)

when the sun rising for me

all the days supporting me

and the world is just me

i can reach my destiny

(ii)

when your life is going down

when your smiles turns into frown

and our fate has turn around

it's the dread that you will found

back to reff

this song was written in the middle of my quarter life crisis. it's actually just a simple shallow way to express myself about how i feel towards my parents. i know right...?

Ode : the perfect suicidal note

I wish to disappear

Releasing all this fear

Without the world to tear

Hoping new will come near

For one can not escape

The true mark of fate

Dangling towards one’s grace

What? What is it that i worry?

Everything, everything that i sorry

there no better tomorrow

Time can not releaved all this sorrow

I begged a better way to say goodbye

Though you may all question why

But i hope this would not burden you

This would not hurt you

This would not kept you away

To lead your life into a better day